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zagaja
huviline
Registreerunud 06.09.04
Asukoht: tallinn
Kasutaja on eemal
Auto: A-200 20v 162kw turbo quattro avant
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priit
moderaator klubiliige
Registreerunud 18.09.03
Asukoht: Põltsamaa
Kasutaja on eemal
Auto: Audi C4, Bora & Octavia
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See viimane asi on siit juba läbikäinud 
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priitpoiss --> priit
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Loosedahood
huviline
Registreerunud 03.01.06
Asukoht: Kose
Kasutaja on eemal
Auto: Audi A6 2.5 TDi, Saab 9-3
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| Tsitaat: | Algselt postitas: hollow
| Tsitaat: | Algselt postitas: Loosedahood
kaks bussi sõidavad kõrvuti, 1 yletab kiirust....
veits nimesid ka siis:
Matti Vastutatti- soome poksija
Ülle Kuudi- eesti naisrallisõitja
Matti Altalatti- soome kõrgushyppaja
Kurvis Kraavis- lätti ralliäss
Aapi Uupun- soome ujuja
Ket Mahaa- jaapani jalgrattur
Mööda Põhja Roomalainen- veel yks ujuja
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Kurvis Kukunn oli mingi riigi ringrajasõitja |
neid nimesid on päris palju....kõik ei ole meeles enam
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janar
huviline
Registreerunud 16.11.03
Asukoht: Järvamaa
Kasutaja on eemal
Auto: A6 Avant
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Mitte väga naljakas, kuid tragikoomiline küll ->
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8413
huviline
Registreerunud 09.04.05
Asukoht: kesk-eesti(ka põltsamaa)
Kasutaja on eemal
Auto: Audi avant
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ÜLESKUTSE!
Lugupeetud sakslased, hollandlased, prantslased ja jaapanlased
HOIDKE OMA AUTOSID!
Meie eestlased, peame nendega veel ju kurat teab kui kaua sõitma!
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sain vist isegi auto korda ;-)
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Loosedahood
huviline
Registreerunud 03.01.06
Asukoht: Kose
Kasutaja on eemal
Auto: Audi A6 2.5 TDi, Saab 9-3
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| Tsitaat: | Algselt postitas: 8413
Lugupeetud sakslased, hollandlased, prantslased ja jaapanlased
HOIDKE OMA AUTOSID!
Meie eestlased, peame nendega veel ju kurat teab kui kaua sõitma!
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õige jutt!
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totu
huviline
Registreerunud 11.01.05
Asukoht: keila
Kasutaja on eemal
Auto: Audi 100 2,6 V6
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•47 viisi, kuidas mendile pinda käia
1. Kui sind kinni peetakse, siis ütle midagi sellist: "Mis on valesti, mu alkoholiringes ei ole üldse verd?"
2. Teeskle, et sa oled varas.
3. Kui sa ületasid kiirust, siis ütle, et sa tahtsid temaga võidu sõita.
4. Pöördu ta poole, kasutades eesnime.
5. Küsi, kust ta oma laheda mütsi sai?
6. Ütle midagi sellist: "Ja mina mõtlesin, et politseinik peab olema heas füüsilises vormis."
7. Küsi kas ta kannab selle pärast relva, et väiksest peale ema ei lubanud püssidega mängida?
8. Kui tegemist on naisega, siis ütle kui kole ta tegelikult on,
kuid viisakalt.
9. Proovi teda puudutada.
10. Kui sul palutakse väljuda, siis visku automaatselt kapotile ning aseta käed seljale.
11. Kui ta soovib sind läbi otsida, siis vihja sellele, et see on alles teie esimene kohtamine ja sa oled vanamoodne.
12. Kui käiku lähevad käerauad, siis kinnita siiralt, et SM on sulle vastumeelne.
13. Kui oled oma trahvikviitungile alla kirjutanud, siis ütle "Oops, see oli vale nimi."
14. Proovi altkäemaksuks sõõrikuid pakkuda ning kui ta nõustub, vabanda ja ütle et sõid just viimase.
15. Proovi teda ennetada ja küsi talt lubasid ja ta auto tehnilist passi.
16. Kui ta proovib sulle midagi öelda siis laula: "La La La, I can't hear you!"
17. Kui avaneb võimalus, siis komista ja kuku talle sülle.
18. Kui ta sind eemale tõukab, siis süüdista teda jõhkruses.
19. Enne kui sa kuhugi alla kirjutad noki nina, sest sa kasutad ju tema pliiatsit.
20. Näri närviliselt pliiatsit ja urgitse sellega kõrva.
21. Kui saab siis lammuta pliiats tükkideks ja hakka vedruga mängima.
22. Küsi kas tal on tütar. Kui vastus on jaatav, siis maini, et sellepärast tunduski ta nimi tuttav.
23. Tee lolle nägusid ja teeskle, et oled alaarenenud.
24. Kui ta midagi ütleb, siis korda kõike vaiksel häälel.
25. Räägi pomisedes iseendaga või proovi rääkida aktsendiga.
26. Küsi kuidas sõõrikuid valmistatakse.
27. Ütle, et kodus on sul samasugune läikiv ametimärk.
28. Vaidle oma käega poliitiliste probleemide üle.
29. Kui ta soovib su auto läbi otsida, siis ütle, et sul ei ole enam alkoholi. Eelmine ment võttis kõik ära.
30. Proovi talle oma autot maha müüa.
31. Küsi kas sa saaksid tema autot osta.
32. Kui tuleb sõita jaoskonda, siis küsi kas ees saaks sõita.
33. Mängi sireeniga.
34. Proovi seda häälega imiteerida.
35. Naerata meelitavalt.
36. Torka teda.
37. Keera pea ära ja vilista.
38. Kui ta võtab välja oma kumminuia, siis küsi üllatunult: "Mida te küll sellega teha tahate?"
39. Kui te olete naine, siis punastage ja öelge, et see on alles teie esimene kohtumine.
40. Kui istud tagaistmel, siis istu nurka, ime pöialt ja vingu.
41. Küsi kas sa saaksid ta relva katsuda.
42. Kui ei lubata, siis ütle, et sa tahtsid lihtsalt vaadata, kas sinu oma on suurem.
43. Ütle, et sulle meeldivad mundris mehed.
44. Küsi, kas sa saaksid ta riietust karnevaliks laenata.
45. Vaata taevasse ja lehvita.
46. Vabanda, et su radaridetektor oli välja lülitatud.
47. Maini, et ka sina tahtsid politsei-nikuks saada, aga otsustasid,siiski parem keskkooli minna
Loodan,et pole läbi käinud!!
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Colo
huviline
Registreerunud 11.07.05
Asukoht: Tallinn
Kasutaja on eemal
Auto: Audi Coupe GT '88
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margus.us
huviline
Registreerunud 05.01.05
Asukoht: Tallinn
Kasutaja on eemal
Auto: autota
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-ummi-
huviline
Registreerunud 10.05.04
Asukoht: Tallinn
Kasutaja on eemal
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Siin sama kriteeriumi alla
midagi,mehed oskavad ainult natuke paremini lüüa.
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TT
huviline
Registreerunud 08.06.04
Asukoht: GDN
Kasutaja on eemal
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kala
klubiliige
Registreerunud 16.10.02
Asukoht: Tallinn
Kasutaja on eemal
Auto: Subaru forester; Audi 100 C4 2.0
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Juristi arvamus JUHENDItest:
Juhendid on välja töötatud tunnustatud spetsialistide poolt ja nende kuiv uinutav tekst rajaneb verel, pisaratel, leinal ning kohtupraktikal.
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cobra
huviline
Registreerunud 16.03.05
Asukoht: Pärnu
Kasutaja on eemal
Auto: Audi A6 3.0 TFSI
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ML
huviline
Registreerunud 28.03.04
Asukoht: Tartu
Kasutaja on eemal
Auto: Audi 100CD ,MB Vito 111CDI
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pepe
huviline
Registreerunud 08.11.03
Asukoht: Tallinn
Kasutaja on eemal
Auto: A6 C7 Avant Q S-Line FL
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Colo
huviline
Registreerunud 11.07.05
Asukoht: Tallinn
Kasutaja on eemal
Auto: Audi Coupe GT '88
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tom
huviline
Registreerunud 20.09.04
Asukoht: Tallinn
Kasutaja on eemal
Auto: Audi A6 C7 S-line 3.0 BiTurbo 235kw
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Pärleid Chuck Norrise fännidele
Part 1
Selgituseks: "roundhouse" - löök jalaga pöördelt, reeglina pähe
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds till." After you ask, "Two seconds till what?" he roundhouse kicks you in
the face.
Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly
after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew
once more that the good Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
Chuck Norris has recently changed his middle name to "Fucking."
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
There are two kinds of people in this world: people who suck, and Chuck Norris.
In the movie Back to the Future they used Chuck Norris' Delorean to go back in time and into the future. When they gave it back to him with a scratch
on it he was angry and roundhouse kicked Michael J. Fox, which years later they discovered is the cause of Parkinson's disease.
Chuck Norris spends his Saturdays climbing mountains and meditating in peaceful solitude. Sundays are for oral sex, KFC and Tequila.
Chuck Norris always has sex on the first date. Always. The only time he didn't was in 1941, otherwise known as the beginning of the Holocaust.
Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the **** down.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to survive.
Chuck Norris once walked down the street with a massive erection. There were no survivors.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
When Chuck Norris was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Chuck Norris!" Then she had had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl
he had slept with.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.
Chuck Norris is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's ****.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
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tom
huviline
Registreerunud 20.09.04
Asukoht: Tallinn
Kasutaja on eemal
Auto: Audi A6 C7 S-line 3.0 BiTurbo 235kw
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Pärleid Chuck Norrise fännidele
Part 2
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of
cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized,
Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have
seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard,
deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured
this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not
had to pay taxes ever.
As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami
Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck
Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fu..ing Indian.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the **** down.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst
mistake anyone has ever made.
Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME
IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't **** with
Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the
blast went deaf.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse
kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of
Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
On the sixth day God created Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris invented the left turn. This was so he could roundhouse kick people both ways.
Chuck Norris had 98 kills in Vietnam and he wasn't even there.
The Greek pronunciation of Chuck Norris is Zeus.
The atomic bomb that hit Hiroshima was actually Chuck Norris's most severe and deadly martial arts move. That day he promised to never again do that
move. A few days later it was confirmed Chuck Norris occasionally lies.
Video didn't kill the radio star: Chuck Norris did. With a roundhouse kick.
When Chuck Norris meets people he does not like, but aren't worth roundhouse kicking, he points to the north while giving them an evil look. These
people are known as Canadians.
Chuck Norris can travel through time running at 88 miles per hour.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.
When faced with a difficult situation, Jesus asks himself, "What would Chuck Norris do?"
Chuck Norris has never had an alcohol problem. However, alcohol has had a Chuck Norris problem.
At the end of the week Chuck Norris murders a dozen white people just to prove he's not racist.
Chuck Norris will never get sick because germs are scared of him.
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kollerimees
huviline
Registreerunud 07.10.04
Asukoht: Põlvamaa
Kasutaja on eemal
Auto: VW Touareg
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| Tsitaat: | Algselt postitas: tom
Pärleid Chuck Norrise fännidele
Part 2
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of
cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized,
Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have
seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard,
deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured
this man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not
had to pay taxes ever.
As a teen Chuck Norris impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in the hills of Tuscany. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the 1972 Miami
Dolphins, the only undefeated and untied team in professional football history.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck
Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fu..ing Indian.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the **** down.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst
mistake anyone has ever made.
Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME
IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't **** with
Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the
blast went deaf.
Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.
Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse
kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of
Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
On the sixth day God created Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris invented the left turn. This was so he could roundhouse kick people both ways.
Chuck Norris had 98 kills in Vietnam and he wasn't even there.
The Greek pronunciation of Chuck Norris is Zeus.
The atomic bomb that hit Hiroshima was actually Chuck Norris's most severe and deadly martial arts move. That day he promised to never again do that
move. A few days later it was confirmed Chuck Norris occasionally lies.
Video didn't kill the radio star: Chuck Norris did. With a roundhouse kick.
When Chuck Norris meets people he does not like, but aren't worth roundhouse kicking, he points to the north while giving them an evil look. These
people are known as Canadians.
Chuck Norris can travel through time running at 88 miles per hour.
When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but because he has run out of women.
When faced with a difficult situation, Jesus asks himself, "What would Chuck Norris do?"
Chuck Norris has never had an alcohol problem. However, alcohol has had a Chuck Norris problem.
At the end of the week Chuck Norris murders a dozen white people just to prove he's not racist.
Chuck Norris will never get sick because germs are scared of him. |
Please translate next time!
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auto nr 27
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tarmo
klubiliige
Registreerunud 05.01.03
Kasutaja on eemal
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| Tsitaat: | Algselt postitas: kollerimees
Please translate next time! |
please don't quote next time the whole text!!!
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Silwer
huviline
Registreerunud 11.12.02
Kasutaja on eemal
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TQHQ foorumist:
Maybachi remont
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BMW 325i E30 2,8 stroker & BMW 328iT E36 & Seat Altea XL 2,0 TDI+DSG
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ando
huviline
Registreerunud 24.10.05
Asukoht: L-Viru
Kasutaja on eemal
Auto: 3 x Touareq; Chevy M1008 6,2d.
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Hale vaadata kui inimesel raha on kuid mõistus puudub. Miks ei võinud mees teiselt poolt
autosse minna ja siis teenindusse remonti
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PRAKTIK
huviline
Registreerunud 04.09.05
Asukoht: Ida-Viru
Kasutaja on eemal
Auto: VW Passat 1,9TDI 96kw 2004
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Juhtub....
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Burn
huviline
Registreerunud 25.09.02
Asukoht: Tallinn
Kasutaja on eemal
Auto: Coupe Q & E39
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| Tsitaat: |
Hale vaadata kui inimesel raha on kuid mõistus puudub. Miks ei võinud mees teiselt poolt autosse minna ja siis teenindusse remonti
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Mis moodi sa siis Maybach`i kõrvalt istmelt lähed. See käib ju ego pihta ja sõbrad naeravad ka sinu üle mitu aastat.
Suzuki Bandit 1200, 2,5 sek 0-100  |
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antsu
klubiliige
Registreerunud 26.09.02
Asukoht: Tallinn
Kasutaja on eemal
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| Lehekülgi: 1 .. 12 13 14 15 16 .. 20 |
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